Sunday, June 28, 2009

Wish you were here

How? Why? What? all these questions been troubling since ages now. There aren't any answers to these things, you live life as it comes. that's what i said on sat, may 19Th 2007. yes that's couple of years back. am bad at remembering things how did i remember this? i found it in my other blog. was reading that blog and was thinking did anything ever change? i still make decisions and i still cant explain why i did so. yes i talk of everything.

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

been through a lot lately. and took major decisions and could not explain why! nothing new for me. but this time it involved someone else so it is much difficult to explain someone else than to convince yourself. But i did not have any logical explanation to defend myself. so i wrote long text which says yes i am running away from something, no i dont know what and its definitely not that. If someone asks "why?" I'll be, huh? who? you talk in to me?

And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

TRUTH: i miss them, the songs still remind me of them, but things not the same. they have lost all the trust and i have found myself again. the me i was years back. same thoughts, same behaviour, same goals, only one thing is different, they not here.

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.

I used to write poems, express my feelings through words, it was so me back then, my old blog is all me, one of them said. You said it and i am getting back there. if that explains anything.
Its on your mind all the time.. you cant get rid of these thoughts.. cant sleep, dont eat much anyway but eat even less, why? just trying to explain things. no, not to them but to yourself. you know you are right in your way. only if they would trust you with your decisions. decisions that says yes you need to be you, not happy you, but you. i wish i could change myself to what i want to be. have had long talks on how i cant, all in vain as our life is not controlled just by us. Who thinks otherwise go see movie "run lola run". why do we wish? why do we want something or other? not talking of materialistic things, those days are gone, thanks to friend and our aim. it worked for me to certain extent, he still wants a new bass. What i wish is different. i want me to be myself again!

What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

Wonders of design, forget who you are, forget everything. all that matters is today, how to live till you get to tomorrow. and then think of same things again!