Sunday, January 18, 2009

Do not care, Cost-cutting in life.

Make plans and follow them. weekend is also packed and then you make huge changes to make things happen. Yes, lot of changes. You try and make things happen so as others wont feel bad. But others dont want them to happen now. you wonder why and then understand the problem faced by others.

Thought that everything was perfect

Isn't that how it's supposed to be?

Thought you thought that I was worth it

Now I think a little differently

You accept the fact that things wont happen according to plan so you decide to carry on and finish other things fast. But then you get to know that your accepting the fact is because you dont care. That hurts. O think thats meant to hurt. But not to think over things as they remind us of pills you go out for ride. You dont like the breeze hitting your face today. It makes tears roll down your eyes, Stupid wind thinks you should cry, you wipe your face with one hand and other holding the accelerator on full just to realise that wind wasnt that smart you are stupid. You dont stop you go, on and on. then you think lets divert mind so you go and shop. shopping biscuits isn't fun, specially when you pick one pack and ten fall. this happens over and over again. you are scared of whats happening.

There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain

An ounce of peace is all I want.

You get out of there and get back to riding when they call and tell you they want you to come back. you refuse and go on and on. till the road comes to an end. you come back and you see them standing there as if waiting for you. Hope you seek and they ask whats wrong with you why would you behave like this. Blackness shoots in you and you walk off...

you tell them you think i dont care? wait i will show you what it is not to care. you start to ignore and thats when you realise what they always say. there is no place for goodness in todays world.

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

RUN, else they'll spell you as Quboid.

The fest is here. In a month the BIG Q word is coming. and right now its time to point fingers at each other asking reasons and logic. if you cant answer then make something up else daddy does not like. dictators have given up. and diplomats are making their way in. but then the fest is supposed to be fun. yes it is fun to see yourself work day and night on something that kills you. you are about to sleep, you change and get into your bed after hours and hours of work on the Q, you tell your friend how tired you are and suddenly door opens and someone shouts SOS we need people for making pretty looking things. yes, the Q has its own beauty. it made many drink other smoke and some got slapped and some danced. You curse the guy and get out of your bed and take out your Q notebook(how cool) and tell him the possibilities. He says they wont work. Bah! time to get out of the bed at 2 AM. you go out, look for captain mind and tell him these people need to work. you take them all and go to guy with problem and then the guy says we dont want so many people. its better if i do it on own. Whate fun! anyway you make sure they work then and then you look at watch its 4.30 in morning. time for everyone to sleep now. i go to bed and sleep within few seconds. SARAF MEETING WITH JUNIORS. its morning and you are supposed to be at meeting with juniors and so you jump out of the bed reach for your toothbrush, brush your teeth while changing into your jeans which you been wearing for past month now and you run to institute thinking rest of the things i ll do once am back. the meeting goes on and gets over in 30 mins. wow that was fast and now can i go to hostel? no i cant. we need sponsors.. baah
When you have time you get busy living or you get busy dying.
i chose to die.

Day went by and we made lists of sponsors and lots more.. lists are part of life. Starts with Quasar list and will end as backlog list. Oh! there is a grade list also in between which hangs proudly on the notice brd of class. shows a C+ in front of my name. thats the jury grade. and yes also the design process grade.. so much for grinding pepper i thought but then its OK, shit happens . rest the grades looks decent for this cuboid.
Back to Quasar the Q word, the day goes in lists meetings and more meetings. shouting at people, taking crap from people wanting to go home and being unable to leave the institute. and there are dumb lookin un-enthusiastic juniors. how nice of them their existence is mere formality in putting up the fest. oh there is a presentation to be made for Monday on materials. DAMN !
dont even ask about the material class its theory and it is important.. very important. i already have thousands of pages to read and no time. test is going to test many things apart from materials. i think its time for presentation. the showdown.